You Could Be Happy
by HaleighHeartbeat
Summary: It's a PeytonLucas fic. It's my first one and I'll be updating it about twice every week. It's set in their junoir year of college and Peyton broke up with Lucas their senoir year of high school because of Brooke. R&R please! Thanks.
1. You Could Be Happy

**You Could Be Happy.**  
Part One.

_You could be happy and I won't know  
But you weren't happy the day I watched you go  
And all the things that I wished I had not said  
Are played in loops 'till it's madness in my head  
Is it too late to remind you how we were  
But not our last days of silence, screaming, blur  
Most of what I remember makes me sure  
I should have stopped you from walking out the door  
You could be happy; I hope you are  
You made me happier than I'd been by far  
Somehow everything I own smells of you  
And for the tiniest moment it's all not true  
--Snow Patrol._

She could feel him. His eyes digging into her back as she sat leisurely in her chair, the sun warming her bare shoulders. She was ignoring him and he knew she was. The thing was that Peyton Sawyer did not I _want_ to ignore Lucas Scott, but she had to for her own sanity. They were living under the same roof with his girlfriend, Brooke Davis, who was also her best friend. However, they knew they both could feel the desire penetrate the silence, making his nearly unbearable to simply sit outside and have him watch her for hours on end. But, alas, their teen years had been exactly the same, only with brief intervals where they were allowed to indulge in what their hearts wanted and needed. Her eyes flitted for a moment behind her as she pretended to pick something off the back of his shirt. She caught his knowing smile in her direction; that boy still sent chills down her body. He shook her to her core and made her skin tingle without even touching her. She could still feel his weight on top of her, the warmth of his body consuming hers creating some sort of ecstasy that they could not explain.

Three years later, things were the same as their junior year of High School only they were now in their Junior year of college and far more endowed with the blessing called self-control. Although, sometimes, Peyton saw it as a curse. She would give anything to be able to just grab Lucas and show him exactly what he meant to her. Brooke was her best friend and even after two huge fights and friendship endings, they were closer than ever. Brooke told Peyton the last time she understood why Peyton loved Lucas so much and that she could actually have him. Lucas was hers! Oh the joy there had been in those brief months where she felt alive for the first time since her mother's death. But, no, in the end Brooke still got Lucas because Peyton had stumbled upon Brooke crying in her bed in the apartment they had shared in Tree Hill. She was sobbing about one thing or another and, in her moment of need, Peyton had comforted her and eventually the truth came out: Brooke still was in love with Lucas. Peyton panicked, knowing that her friendship with Brooke meant more than anything she could ever have with Lucas. So she gave him up and Brooke was happy again, which sparked the nights where Peyton was now awoken to the sounds of Brooke calling out Lucas' name as they shared a dorm in College.

But, after all, that had been the life she had asked for. The break up had been surprisingly easy seeing as Peyton had lied to Lucas' face.

**Flashback**

_Peyton readied herself as she waited for Lucas to answer the door. Deep breath in, deep breath out. Brooke had no idea Peyton was doing this and Peyton half-expected herself not to do it at all. She loved Lucas so much and she didn't want it to be over, but she wanted her friend to be happy all the same. As soon as he opened the door, her thoughts were shattered as his happy smile. She returned his smile with a wary one as she sat down on his bed, staring at the fray at the bottom of her jacket, her blonde hair hanging in front of her face. She felt the bed sink down as he sat next to her, but she didn't look._

_"Aw, Peyton, what's wrong?" He asked her, his hand reaching for her face as he tipped her chin up and over to meet her sad eyes. How could she do this to him? She loved Lucas Scott more than she had ever loved anybody and now she was just going to throw it away for Brooke, a girl who had thrown Peyton away more times than she cared to remember? She had to, though. Brooke needed Lucas more than she knew. Peyton had never been the type of person to be selfish or rude. Brooke had confessed that she wished she had never ended things with Lucas and now Peyton felt obligated to do something about it. "Lucas." Her voice was soft, but full of emotion. "Yeah, Peyton?" He asked and the silence impregnated the room as Peyton refused to speak. She could feel the waved of anxiety rolling off his body, mixing with her own guilt and anticipatory regret. She had to do this. She had to._

_"We have to...we have too break...It's over, Lucas." Peyton's voice was small, almost miniscule and the way she spoke so slowly made it almost seem like she barely knew how to speak English anymore. In some ways, she didn't because she knew that there would never be a way to explain how she felt or why she had to break up with him. She couldn't explain what had possessed her to be so selfless to Brooke. Peyton's eyes dropped and she couldn't help but let the nostalgia wash over her as the silence enveloped the room again. Lucas shifted his weight on the bed and soon, it was gone. He was standing and Peyton was so ashamed, she couldn't bring herself to look up at the one man she had ever loved. "This is bullshit, Peyton, and you know it." Lucas' voice was icy, but Peyton could tell he was hanging by thread at that point. She closed her eyes tight, willing the scene to be banished from reality. She heard footsteps and the door slam and then Peyton was alone._

_She had been alone ever since._

**End flashback.**

Unable to take him staring anymore, Peyton fled to the solitude of her room. Flipping on her stereo, she blasted it throughout her room, letting the lyrics take her away from this place that had held her mind for so long. She didn't want to spend the next years wishing she had never done something. Ever since she broke up with Lucas, no one else had made her feel the same. She hadn't held a boyfriend for more than two months and Brooke didn't seem to care. She and Lucas had been together since senior year seeing as Lucas had spent the rest of their senoir year of high school trying to convince Peyton that he was the one for her. So many speeches about how they were meant to be, so many nights where he was sitting on her bed when she came home. Peyton collapsed onto her bed, pulling the covers over her head and, shutting her eyes tight, she let out a whimper. She felt so helpless. Brooke had never even thanked her for letting her have Lucas. Every single day, Peyton had to pretend like she didn't love him, like she didn't care. Brooke went on being ditzy and happy with her boyfriend who, little did she knew, was only half in the relationship. He let his eyes linger on Peyton's slim body too long and he said too many things to Peyton that implied something more.

She could still feel him even when he was alone in her room. Her heart still beat for him and no matter what she couldn't rid herself of him. It was like Lucas was a stain on all her clothes. Everything reminded her of him-all the mundane facts of everyday life. Like when she dropped an apple in the store or when she ran a stop sign. They weren't linked to Lucas, but for a fleeting second, she could taste him again. For the tiniest moment, she had him again. But once she was thrust back into reality, she scolded herself for being so weak. She needed him and more than anything, she wanted him to just come and take her back. Walk into her room and say everything Peyton had wanted to say but couldn't. All she needed was one night.


	2. Someday You Will Be Loved

**Someday You Will Be Loved  
**Part Two

_You'll be loved you'll be loved  
Like you never have known  
The memories of me  
Will seem more like bad dreams  
Just a series of blurs  
Like I never occurred  
Someday you will be loved  
You may feel alone when you're falling asleep  
And every time tears roll down your cheeks  
But I know your heart belongs to someone you've yet to meet  
Someday you will be loved  
--Death Cab For Cutie_

On this morning, Peyton woke up to the soothing stillness of her dorm room as she slipped out of her bed, wrapping her near-by robe around her cold body that had begun to gain goose bumps as she ventured out into the open air of her room. The night before, she had prayed for one night and if it could be any night, it would be tonight. The date would be long forgotten in Lucas' mind surely, though Peyton remembered it like someone had burned it into her brain. The agony of being burned rested in her lonely mind as she thought of the significance of the date. It was March 29, the day she had first indulged in her real passion. The day Lucas and her had searched the hotel room for her lost piece of jewelry. That was the very day that Peyton decided she couldn't live without Lucas Scott. She knew in that moment of heat that what they had was real; it was tangible and undeniable and oh so horribly strong. What she felt toward the tall blonde couldn't be explained in an ancient proverb or an old rock song. Nothing Peyton could draw or write could explain how she felt when she was with Lucas. She was exhilarated and calm at the same time. Nervous and at home. All these conflicting emotions ran circles around her head until she got dizzy and had to force herself to think of anything else except for the boy who had stolen her heart. Lucas must have known he still had her heart and he was a selfish bastard not to let her have it back. There was no way she could ever move on without closure. But, it was far too late to ask Lucas for some sort of closure. He had moved on with her best friend-maybe Peyton had never meant that much to him in the first place. Peyton sighed at her own self-pity at this line of thought. Convincing herself that he had never really loved her wasn't going to make that fact that she still loved him go away. Nothing could change how she felt. Not Brooke, not Lucas, and surely not the haunting fact that she had ended it. She had ended the best thing that had ever happened to her for a friend who had never, ever repaid her.

Shaking her head violently, Peyton forced herself to take a shower. Undressing in the bathroom a moment later, she felt detached from the world. She couldn't even feel the cold beads of water hitting her back as the water adjusted the heat inside the shower walls. Closing her eyes, Peyton turned the water up to as hot as she could bare it. She wanted to wash him away from her. But, no matter how many steaming hot showers she took, she couldn't get the feel and smell of Lucas off her skin. It had been three years and he lingered everywhere. Scrubbing her body until it was red and raw, Peyton still wasn't satisfied. Nothing could cure this disease that she carried with her. Giving into it, Peyton leaned against the cool tile of the shower and let the first tears of the day fall. Like the water, they were warm which clued her into the fact that they were falling fast. They didn't have time to meet the alternate colder air so they could feel cold on her face. The stiff realization that she was sobbing shook Peyton; she couldn't let him get to her like this anymore. Rubbing the tears off her face, she smoothed down her wet hair and just stood there, naked in the shower as the water slowly turned colder and colder. But, she didn't notice. All she could think of was the face she surely saw in the doorway before the door shut. Lucas had stood there and watched her cry. Cursing Brooke for buying a see-through shower curtain, insisting it was "kinkier", Peyton rinsed her hair and turned off the water, now furious with herself for crying. Crying meant she was weak and Peyton was stronger than ever now that she had gone through so much in such a short amount of time. Drying off quickly, Peyton fled to her room yet again and stayed enclosed until she heard Brooke's cheerful voice beckon her boyfriend for a Saturday shopping trip. Now she could breath easy.

--------------------

At dinner with Brooke and Lucas, she sat on the couch with her Chinese take-out box and can of soda, brooding as the happy couple watched TV. Brooke was bitching about one thing or another and Lucas was fighting with her in that stupid playful boyfriend way that Peyton absolutely hated. Lucas was a different person when he was with Brooke. He wasn't the real him, the guy Peyton knew so well in her memories and dreams. Finally having enough of the whole scene, Peyton stood up and threw her trash away in the can forcefully, hearing Brooke's condescending voice as she walked away: _"I guess someone forgot to take her happy pills today."_ Peyton snorted as she sought refuge in her room for the third time in the past forty-eight hours. Within seconds of laying on her bed, sleep took her away to a place where she and Lucas were actually happy. Upon waking up, Peyton realized how stupid it was for her to fall asleep so early. Now she was wide awake at three in the morning. Groaning, she got up only to be met by the underlying hunger from not eating any of her dinner. Surrendering to her stomach's loud protest against not eating, she crept from her room to the kitchen to retrieve her favorite late-night snack: chocolate. Dipping into her own secret stash kept where the cleaning products were located, somewhere Peyton knew Brooke would never venture, she selected her favorites and turned around to leave. However, fate just was not on her side. She collided with a broad-chested male and her mind reacted quickly. "Sorry." She said, making to go around a bed-headed Lucas, but she moved in front of her. "Lucas, let me go." she asked him, rolling her eyes when really, inside, she was begging him to let her leave. "What's wrong with you lately?" He asked, his voice rough from sleep. "Nothing's wrong with me, Lucas, except for _your_ ass being in _my _way." She snapped, clearly done with the situation. "I need your help, though." Lucas said and Peyton stopped moving. _"What the hell is he talking about?" _she wondered, but gave in anyway. She set down her goods and rested a hand on her hip. "Okay, what is it? And if it's about Brooke, ask someone else; that girl confuses the hell out of me." She asked, gesturing to him with her free hand as if to signify that she had an appointment and was without time to spare though she really could have stayed there all night with him and helped him with anything he needed. "Where's the peanut butter?" He asked and Peyton let out a short laugh. Brooke constantly re-locating all the food in the house had obviously trumped Lucas. Brooke Davis was notorious for never putting anything back in its original spot. Peyton sauntered over to the cupboard and Lucas followed her. Reaching up to the very top on, she could feel Lucas' eyes going over her toned arms and stomach all the way down to her slim legs, but she pretended not to notice.

"Here you are." She said, trying to be upbeat as she handed him the jar. She unscrewed it and a frown formed upon his face. Brows knit together, Peyton leaned over and examined the contents of the container of which there were none. "Sorry bud, I guess it's not your night." She said, shrugging her shoulders in a way that said, "Outta luck, man." Lucas looked from Peyton's face back to the jar before he set it down and rested his forearm against the counter casually, leaning there. For a long time, no one said anything and Peyton had just opened her mouth to speak when Lucas beat her to the punch. "Let's go pick some up-" Peyton was already beginning to protest, but Lucas shook his head to silence the words building in her throat. "You can replenish your chocolate supply and maybe we can actually start to build this thing called a friend ship that you have been putting off for three years." Ouch. That was a low, low thing for him to do, but he played it off like he was the smarted, wittiest guy in the world. Giving Lucas her famous sneer, she shook her head. "In your dreams, Scott." She quipped and made to leave. She had gotten half way to her room when she heard his voice carry into the next room, "No, Peyton, I think it'll be in _your _dreams." She flinched. How could she let an arrogant comment like that go un-noticed? Padding back into the kitchen and stared him done before finally laying down the rules. "Fine. But I get to drive and we listen to my music and you have to put up with my in my tank top and booty shorts because I am _not_ changing." Peyton challenged him briefly with a quick raise of on of her eyebrows. Feeling triumphant, Peyton walked to the front door, grabbing her keys along the way, and stepped into her favorite white flats. Sure enough, Lucas followed her and soon they were on their way to the store without the simple mention of Brooke.

Arriving at the store, Peyton was thankful that it was a 27-hour place. She hadn't hung out with Lucas in months and she was silently happy that Lucas had forced her to go on his peanut butter journey with him. She turned off her car and looked over at him, meeting his striking blue eyes. He held her gaze for a beat too long than normal before he clapped, rubbing his hands together and got out of the car in one swift movement. Peyton swallowed the involuntary lump in her throat and followed suit, exiting the car. They walked inside the store together in silence, but as soon as they were inside it was like something clicked in Lucas' mind. As soon as they went down a brightly lit aisle he grabbed her by her stomach in a playful way. Laughing in spite of herself, Peyton kicked her legs in the air as he spun her around and, for a brief moment, it felt like old times. The sheer spontaneity of that moment never left Peyton's mind as her heart hummed after the excursion, searching for the peanut butter, both of them too stubborn to ask an employee where it was located. Though they were feet apart, Peyton could feel the energy between them. "So, Lucas, do you want creamy or chunky?" She asked, turning toward him as they both scanned the extensive selection of crushed peanute that had formed into a spread with the aid of a metal machine. "Creamy." Lucas replied, with the slightest hint of luster in his voice. "O-okay." Her hands were shaking now as she reached out to select the Skippy brand. "What about this?" She asked, swallowing hard. Lucas turned to look at her find and, when their eyes met, the peanut butter was the last thing on Lucas' mind. Grabbing her roughly, he pulled her close, one hand on her back beneath her shirt and the other cradling her head as their lips crashed together. Peyton's first instinct was to stop him, but then her second over-powered the first so she kissed him back with three years worth of longing. They were no longer dancing around the subject of their passion anymore and now they were making out in a grocery store at 3:30 in the morning like a couple of horny teenager. A buzz erupted in Lucas' sweat pants and they broke apart. "Brooke." He stated simply, he voice thick with emotion. He walked away from Peyton to answer the phone and in an instant Peyton was walking away from him outside to her car. She revved the engine and drove off, leaving Lucas to get home any way he could.

Peyton didn't know why, but she was pissed. She didn't know why she had expected him not to answer the phone when he so obviously would. Brooke was his girlfriend! Peyton was just a girl he kissed because of sleep deprivation. Crashing home, Peyton could hear Brooke talking to Lucas still as she ran to her room, slamming the door._ "What the hell did you do to her, Lucas? Oh, nothing. Really? You're ass is mine when you get home. I bet you stole her chocolate. We talked about this, it's_ hers_ not yours"_ Peyton let out a short breath at that sentence. Brooke was a good, good friend and suddenly Peyton was over-come with the guilt of her seventeen-year-old self and she knew she would never let what happened with Lucas happen again. Too bad Lucas was thinking that it would surely happen again if he had any say in it at that very moment as he was talking to his girlfriend on the phone, deserted in a grocery store.

* * *

Thanks for the support, guys! I really didn't know if anyone would like the first one. As you can tell, this chapter is substantially longer so I hope that doesn't mean it wasn't as good. Haha. Please review and post any thoughts, suggestions, or spelling errors you have-I'll take all the help I can get! Thanks again, you guys are amazing. Also, in the next few chapters there will be more interactions with Peyton in Brooke other than just over-hearing what she's saying. I can also promise you some serious P/L time where they discuss what happened in the store soon enough. 


	3. Nothing In My Way

**Nothing In My Way**  
Part Three  
  
_A turning tide  
Lovers at a great divide  
Why do you laugh,  
When I know that you hurt inside?  
And why do you say  
It's just another day, nothing in my way  
I don't wanna go, I don't wanna stay  
So there's nothing left to say?  
And why do you lie  
When you wanna die, when you hurt inside  
Don't know what you lie for anyway  
Now there's nothing left to say  
A telltale sign  
You don't know where to draw the line  
--Keane_

The next week of Peyton's life was a blur. Brooke was talking to her more than usual and somehow she had dragged Peyton on several different shopping trips that left Peyton a few hundred bucks shorter in her bank account with slightly slutty clothing. She was putting up with it just because she had kissed Lucas. She felt like if she could make things right with Brooke then things would be just fine with Lucas. Except that things weren't. In fact, they were worse. Neither of them spoke to each other for an entire seven days. Peyton was too afraid to even glance in his general direction let alone talk to him. He didn't deserve for her to talk to him anyway. She didn't know how he had gotten home from the store and she didn't really care. The point was that she had actually had the strength to leave him there and, slowly, Peyton was starting to forget him. He was disappearing into the background shadows of her life, kind of like he was just another inanimate object that she encountered in everyday life. She was yelling herself not to miss him and it was working slowly. Peyton had the patience if it meant that she could rid herself of Lucas Scott and all the sins of their past. Her days were planned around a routine, but she didn't mind. She was falling back into her usually way of living: not living at all. She didn't go out with friends and her nights were spent drawing in her room or talking to her dad on the phone. It was during this time that Peyton realized just how alone she was. Her only friends were and had been Brooke and Lucas. Peyton had no outer connection to the world through different acquaintances. However, Peyton had always been the loner type so it didn't bother her much. In fact, the only thing that bothered her at all was that absolutely nothing caused her to scowl or frown. She was immaculately invisible and it wasn't affecting her. If she spilled something on her favorite shirt or if she bumped into someone at school Peyton wasn't fazed. She went through the week after the kiss like a ghost. Anything and everything she touched seemed un-blemished, like she had never been there. It was like Peyton was the living dead. In many ways, Peyton could have been mistaken for a ghost or vampire simply by how she was living. She haunted her dorm, slipping in and out of rooms so she didn't disturb anyone, even if she knew no one was home. The only time she was actually awake was at night. She didn't need sleep anymore. She watched the clock tick by, her head filled with so many thoughts that it went blank. Peyton's focus had left her body and now she was an empty shell in a somewhat worthless world. Suicidal was not the world for it. She was more or less just fine with life as it was. She didn't feel any overwhelming need to change it, so she didn't touch it at all.

Everything changed on the eighth day of her so-called "fast" as Brooke had named it so lovingly. Peyton was busy being ghost-like in her room when she heard yelling coming from the living room. Striking curiosity in her long-lost mind, Peyton rolled off of her bed and crept into the living room, watching the scene play out in front of her. But no one saw her-no one noticed the blonde's prescience. Brooke was crying and Lucas' featured showed the distress he must have been feeling. "Brooke! You can't keep doing this, okay? You can't yank me around like I'll always come back. If you leave this time, I'm _not_ coming back. I'm not trying again. You've gone too far this time. I mean, why not cheat on me with someone I don't know? Why did it have to be Ben?" Peyton's breath caught in her throat. _They were breaking up because of Chris, that guy from school?_ Peyton felt slightly guilty for not knowing about her best friend's affair. Cheating was something you told your best friend about so they could talk you out of it and Peyton had no idea it had ever occurred. "Lucas! I don't care anymore. Leave. Get out! Get the hell out!" Brooke yelled, collapsing to the ground in tears. It was only then that Lucas caught Peyton's eye and her heart stopped. Something in his eyes told her that it wasn't just about Ben. Something told her there were be more and for the first time in a week, Peyton felt alive again. There was nothing in her way now from getting to Lucas. From having him back. Lucas looked at Peyton for half a moment more before he exited the dorm, slamming the door behind him. Peyton ran to Brooke and scooped her up off the ground, concealing her crying friend in her arms. Brooke's body shook against Peyton's, soaking her black tank top through. Peyton didn't know how long they sat there, on their knees as Brooke cried, but Peyton didn't care. Brooke was hurt and she had to be there for her, no matter how much she was thinking about her ex.

------------------

"Peyton." Brooke's soft voice woke her up. They'd fallen asleep on the couch watching late-night movies to comfort Brooke's mind.  
"Tell_ him_ when he comes over to take the stuff that's his and if he takes any of mine I'm going to kick his ass. I'm going out-I don't want to be here when _he_ gets here."  
Peyton reacted quickly, registering that "him" spoken with such hatred meant Lucas. Only Brooke could rebound so fast after a break up to say she would kick his ass if he took any of her stuff.  
"Alright, I will. When is _he_ coming over?" She asked, playing along for her best friend's sake. Brooke shrugged,  
"Don't know, don't care. I'll be back at six and you're taking me out for a night on the town." Peyton laughed lightly, liking the way a laugh felt since it had been so long.  
"Alright, I'll see you then, skank."  
"Bye, slut."

Peyton fell back onto the plush couch, closing her eyes for a moment. What seemed like two seconds turned into an hour and she was jolted awake yet again by the door opening. Was it six already? Peyton glanced at the clock on the wall and saw that it was only noon. That mean it had to be... "Lucas." She whispered. "So now you choose to talk to me." Lucas shot at her wryly. Maybe she did deserve that, but the fighter in Peyton wasn't going to stand for it. She got off the couch, her tank top askew and her hair messed up. She hadn't felt so alive in days and, even as she stood there all dirty and disoriented, she wouldn't have traded this feeling back for the world. Nothing was in her way! Oh what a feeling. If she wanted to she could just grab Lucas and kiss him all over, just like she had always wanted to. "We need to talk." His voice interrupted her happy thoughts and soon the smile she hadn't known existed was gone from her face. "Then talk." She heard herself say it with her bitchy tone, but she didn't feel the words. It was like she didn't mean it. Was she really going back into ghost-mode already? "That kiss meant something to both of us and you know it, Peyton. You _know_ it in her heart. Just, tell me something, what the hell does your heart want anymore?" His words cut through her like the sharpest knife and the feeling of the wind being knocked out of her lungs without any force startled her. "My heart? Lucas, all it has ever wanted was you." His smile gave her hope and they moved closer until their lips were inches apart and then-

**BAM**

Peyton sat up, looking around. What the hell was going on? Where was Lucas? "Peyton! I'm going out. I'll be back home at six and then you're taking me out, okay? Lucas is outside to pick up his stuff so I'll take the fire escape. Love you, skank. Be ready at six! Bye." And, with that, the real, living Brooke Davis had fled the house out of the fire escape. Shaking her head, Peyton threw the covers off and ran to the bathroom to brush her teeth. If it hadn't actually happened then why could she smell him on her? Splashing some water on her face, Peyton brushed her teeth quickly and ran her fingers through her hair shakily. It hadn't been real. None of it had happened in her amazing dream. Why couldn't it really be real? And why the hell hadn't she known it was a dream? She could feel the heat from his breath on her cheek and his gently hand caressing her face. But it wasn't real. It had never happened. "Peyton! I need your help." Swallowing hard at the familiar words, Peyton exited the bathroom to meet Lucas who did look like he needed some help. "What's up?" She asked and Lucas didn't notice her sudden speech that had been absent for a week. i It wasn't even foreshadowing. Great. /i "Hand me that box." He asked, not looking at her. Was he really being so casual? So many thoughts raced around Peyton's mind and the familiar feeling of being alive came back from her dream. Handing Lucas the empty box, their fingers touched and she dropped it. "Sorry." She said quickly and retrieved it from the ground. Lucas took it from her, obviously careful to make sure that their fingers didn't touch this time. "Lucas, we need to talk." Peyton's voice was surprisingly strong and now it was his turn to drop the box. "Fine." He dusted his hands of their imaginary dust and sat on the arm of the couch with a dead stare into her eyes. "Let's talk, Peyton. Let's talk about me kissing you because I wanted you and then you kissing me back, only to leave me when I answered the phone when Brooke called." He was playing the spurned lover card. Two could play at that game. "Did you expect me to stay and drive you home to your girlfriend so you could have your stupid sandwich and fuck her? Lucas, no, I wasn't going to do that. If that kiss had even meant something to you then you wouldn't have answered the phone. I had meant something to you then you would have stayed and kept kissing me." Lucas laughed at her, shaking his head. He was laughing at her. "Peyton, if I had meant something to you then you wouldn't have left me three years ago." It was odd how the exact same feelings from the dream were reciprocating now. The wind was knocked out of her again and her posture slumped as she stood. "I left you because of Brooke. She loved you, Lucas, and I wanted to be the good friend for once. I loved you so much, but I loved you enough to let you go. And you were happy with Brooke once you found your way back." Her voice was taking on her signature weakness that it always got when she was about to cry. She saw him tense up and almost stand the moment he heard the tears at the back of her throat. She was crying now, standing there and crying in front of her love. In a split second, Lucas' arms were wrapped around her and was whispering into her hair, petting her head and holding her tight. Her cheek was pressed against his chest and she cried openly as her tears soaked through his shirt. In that moment, she felt safe though her heart was breaking all over again. She knew there would be more to come with Lucas Scott; that he would take up a huge part of her life soon and she couldn't escape that. But she didn't want to.

Lucas had held her for a long time and then they had slowly separated, un-tangling their arms from around each other. They moved silently about the room, gathering his miss-placed things and putting them into boxes. He was moving out, leaving her behind in a way. They had classes together, but now Peyton was unsure of what they were or what they could be. Maybe she could just go with the flow and see what Lucas did first.

Brooke showed up at six and Peyton was ready, sparkles on her eyes and blush on her cheeks. Brooke took about two seconds to get fabulous and they went out, just like Brooke had told her they would. Even if it was on a Monday night.  
"Peyton, I just have to thank you for not judging me. I know you know about Ben by now and I know you know that I cheated on Lucas." She let out a soft sigh and took Peyton's hand in hers. "You're a great friend and I'm sorry we've drifted this year. We used to be so close. Tell me, Peyton, what's going on with you?"  
Brooke was talking a mile a minute so Peyton resorted to focusing on her last question.  
"Nothing's going on with me. I'm alone as ever." She meant it as a joke, but melancholy Brooke looked at her with concerned eyes. The expression changed on Brooke's face to a knowing one and Peyton could tell that Brooke knew Peyton loved Lucas. A soft smile appeared on her lips and she squeezed Peyton's hand, a short quick squeeze for comfort.

"Peyton, he's yours now. You can have him."

* * *

**A/N: Thanks SO MUCH for all the amazing reviews. I hope this chapter did not disappoint and I can assure you that the next two or three are going to be the best. Peyton's going to have to win Lucas back and I'll even touch more upon Brooke and Peyton as they get closer and learn to accept who they are really meant to be with-Lucas and Ben. I may even write some about how Brooke feels about this and how she's more happy with Ben and why. All I'm saying is that the next few chapters are probably going to be a slight bit more slow as I let the story unravel in my head. Thanks to all the people who stayed 'till the second chapter-you rock! **

**--Haleigh.**


	4. Stab My Back

**Stab My Back  
**Part Four

_The phone rings And she screams "Stab my back,  
It's better when I bleed for you.  
Walk on me,  
It never was enough to do"  
I can't get past her falling faster  
It's true It hasn't done a lot for you  
And every time he held you close  
Yeah, were you thinking of me?  
When I needed you the most  
Well I hope that you're happy  
--The All-American Rejects_

**A/N: I realize that it sounds like Brooke and Peyton's lover's spat song, but I'll explain if you're confused. See, the line referring to every time he was holding her close and she was thinking of him is Brooke being held by Lucas and thinking of how it was hurting Peyton. And Peyton stabbed her back because...oh, I can't spoil it! Read and you'll find out. Falling faster is not falling into love it was because Brooke and Peyton are both falling faster into their old high school ways and, obviously, it hasn't done alot for her or Peyton.**

Peyton just stared at Brooke-she really could not believe the nerve that girl had. So now that she was done with Lucas Peyton could just scoop him up? She knew it was meant to be a peace offering or something of the like, but all it did was make Peyton's anger kick in her as her heart sped up, obviously reading for the impending outburst that would emit from Peyton's lips at any moment. "Brooke, just because you're done with Lucas doesn't meant that you can give him away. You cheated on him and I could have taken Lucas from you whenever I wanted. I do not need your...your _permission_." Peyton spat the last word out, now furious. It was amazing how if you spoke about why you were angry it could make the anger even worse inside your heart, making you to irrational things. Standing up, Peyton through a twenty on the table and turned on her heel then walked out of the club, leaving a dumbfounded Brooke behind. She practically broke speeding records to get back to her dorm and once she did she fell onto the couch, seething. Disconnected thoughts flew through her head and soon she was talking to herself. "How the hell could she say that? What is her God damn problem?" She yelled as if there was someone there to actually help her out. Only there was someone there, but probably not someone who could help her out at that specific moment in time. "Um, Brooke?" A male voice sounded through the house and Peyton sat up suddenly. In front of her was Ben, the guy Brooke had been fooling around with behind Lucas' back. The fury coursing through her veins set in to its fullest extent and the out-come was Peyton's very irrational thinking. "No, it's Peyton, her friend." She said, standing up and swaying slightly so she could seem like she was drunk. She knew for a fact that being drunk was what helped Brooke score Ben and Peyton was going to test out this theory. She swayed over to him, pretending to trip so she fell and he caught her, a small smile on his face. "Ben! You saved me." Peyton cooed, stroking his face with that drunken innocence written all over her face. "Yeah, I guess I did." He shrugged as he tried to act casual, though that charmer smile that had probably helped him score with alot of drunk girls was still there. "Well, I'll have to re-pay you, won't I?" Peyton's voice was seductive and she smiled a crooked smile before she leaned him and kissed him deeply. Just as she had expected the kiss was returned, but something she hadn't expected was for Brooke to burst into the room at that very moment rambling on and on about how Peyton had no right to leave after she'd been so nice. Peyton simply pulled away and turned her head, giving Brooke a little wave. Ben looked confused, trying too hard to pretend that he was actually the drunk one in this feigned situation as Brooke's face crumpled in sadness and shock.

"Hey Brooke." Came Peyton's obviously sober voice tinted with some sort of evil revenge attitude. She had won and it felt...it felt good.

------------------

Needless to say Ben had been kicked out of the house by a very angry Brooke who believed that Peyton had really been drunk so there was hardly any justice in the situation. "Brooke, I wasn't drunk. I had three drinks!" Peyton told her, an awkward switch from when she used to beg Brooke to believe that she had been drunk their Freshman year of College when she'd accidentally kissed a boy Brooke had thought was cute for about two seconds. "Peyton, you know you can't hold your alcohol." Brooke said sternly without looking up from her Cosmo as she sat on the couch, flipping through the hair issues. Brooke's mind was buzzing. She wanted to believe Peyton was drunk because they had gone eight years without another feud over boys and she couldn't lose her best friend. Not after she lost Haley. Brooke shut the magazine as she forced the thoughts of her final days with Haley away. Peyton had been her first best friend, but Haley came without the drama. Until, that is, Haley had never forgiven her for the Nathan/Brooke sex tape that had come out that fateful day before Prom. She'd lost her best friend and Chase all in one day. (**I know, I know. Haley did forgive Brooke in the show, but I wanted this fic to be more Brooke/Peyton centric since it always seemed like Peyton was the tag-along friend ever since Haley came along. Forgive me.**) Brooke looked at her best friend standing there and practically telling her she had intentionally kissed her boyfriend. "Do you want a fight, Peyton?" Brooke asked her with an eyebrow raised. Did she? Peyton didn't know if she wanted a fight. What she _wanted_ was Brooke to realize how much Lucas meant to her and that she wanted to win him back using herself, not Brooke's stupid permission to. "No, I don't." Peyton's voice was surprisingly small as she answered Brooke. Fighting with her seemed like such a horrible thing to do at the moment. Brooke had lost alot over the years since high school. After losing Haley Brooke had gotten really depressed and decided to go to college with Peyton instead of pursuing her dream, which had landed her taking her parents' money seeing at their sudden stock bump got them rich again so Brooke could free-load off of them seeing as they felt guilty for leaving her all alone for her high school years. Guilt was a beautiful thing if you used it the right way and Brooke Davis did. "Then let's not fight." Brooke said simply as she stood up. Peyton nodded and gave a smile as the two embraced, leaving the kiss in the past. "What are you going to do about Ben?" Peyton asked in a muffled voice with her cheek pressed to Brooke's shoulder, still in the hug. "Screw him; I'll find someone way better." Brooke smiled and pulled away, keeping her hands on Peyton's shoulders. "I told you we'd make it." She said and, with that, she bounced off to her room. "P. Sawyer! I'm getting ready to go out and find a new guy and you know what you're going to do?" Brooke's voice floated into the living room and Peyton laughed at how fast Brooke could bounce back. "What?" She called, actually curious. "You're going to find Lucas." Peyton didn't reply to that. Instead, she jumped into the shower to get ready to actually find Lucas. She had to talk to him, but she knew it would be hard.

Brooke has conspicuously left Lucas' new address on the table for Peyton to find when she had left the house before her. With a smile Peyton stuffed the slip of paper into her jacket pocket and walked out of the house after grabbing her keys from the bowl located next to their front door. She drove to his new apartment and walked up to the front door slowly. She knocked quietly and then louder, feeling flustered thought she hadn't even seen Lucas yet. He opened the door and once he saw her his face grew hard. "Peyton, I can't believe you." He said and Peyton's smile disappeared. "...What?" She asked, clearly more confused than anyone. But, then none other than Brooke Davis came up behind Lucas in nothing but one of his t-shirts, the same smug smile Peyton had worn on her face. "Hi, Peyton." She said with a little wave and reached past Lucas to shut the door. The world was falling around her as Peyton walked back to her car. It was falling so fast that she hadn't had time to notice Lucas' surprised face as he turned to see Brooke behind him. Once she was safely enclosed inside it she started crying. She thought that Brooke had forgiven her! What the hell was this? Some meager attempt to get back at her? Brooke knew she was breaking her heart, but maybe it was a sign. If Brooke could always rope Lucas back in then Peyton could never have him fully. He would always be attached to Brooke in some way. She finally turned on the car and drove out into the middle no where, parking by the woods before she crawled into her backseat and laid down, crying. She couldn't go home because that was the place of Brooke. The place of hate and broken dreams, somewhere Peyton never wanted to return to in that lifetime. She knew she was skipping classes, but so was Lucas and Brooke so if they got in trouble at least they would be in it together, though most of her college professors didn't give a shit anyway. Crying into the soft leather of her backseat, Peyton had no idea of the happenings all the way back at Lucas' house and, maybe, if she had known she would have felt better.

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"Brooke! What the hell are you doing?" Lucas shouted at her and Brooke just laughed, taking off his shirt to reveal one of her own and a short skirt. "Just getting back at Peyton." She said and shrugged. "What the hell are you talking about?" He asked, already fed-up with the situation. So _that_ was why Peyton had reacted to weird when he had planned on pretending to be mad because she hadn't called to check in on him. Too bad she had no idea that was the reason why he'd answered the door with an angry look on his face. He felt like punching himself for being so stupid. "She kissed Ben simply because I told her that she could be with you." Brooke shrugged and dropped his old t-shirt to the floor before walking to the door. "See ya, Luke." She said and gave him a seductive smile and then she walked out of his house to go make up with Ben in her bed back at her dorm is classic Brooke Davis style.

Lucas sat down on the couch and put his head in his hands. Peyton was probably somewhere crying and he didn't know what he should do. If she had kissed Ben then she was being as catty as Brooke, but he was sure that Peyton probably had a reason behind it. Girls were hard to understand, but Peyton didn't usually mess with her bets friend without a good reason. Brooke, on the other hand, usually messed with anyone at any moment if she felt threatened. It was a survival technique and he knew it, but it didn't help that now they weren't friends again and Lucas was stuck in the middle with Ben of all people. Ben had cost him his relationship with Brooke, though he had felt slightly relieved. He'd loved Peyton since he saw her so many years ago, but his fascination with Brooke had lead him to make th wrong decision over and over. He wanted Peyton now more than ever. He wanted her and he feared it was too late. Grabbing his coat he ran out of his house quickly and started driving to the one place he knew where she would be. Their sanctuary by the woods where they used to sit and talk before things had gotten complicated. He pulled up to see her car without her in it. He walked up to the window and was happy to see her in the backseat, though he was sad to see the obvious tear stains on her face as her chest rose and fell. She was asleep after crying for a long, long time over Lucas and Brooke and even Ben. Without hesitation, Lucas opened the car door quietly and slipped into the backseat, carefully not to hit her and sit on the very end of the seat, watching her sleep. He wanted to be there when she woke up so that Peyton would know how much she meant to him.

But things we not going to turn out that easy.

**A/N: Cliffy! I know you hate me for it, sorry guys. And I'm sure you're probably wondering what could possibly go wrong with this story and I am too actually. I've got to think of something and I know some of you hate drama fluff so I'm steering away from that. Some fluff here and there and some drama mixed in as well. I'm pretty sure that I said that Peyton and Brooke were going to be okay, but some of you gave me the idea that Peyton would be pissed at Brooke so this is the outcome. I hope you liked it and I'm probably going to work on part five today as well. If you're lucky I'll add it today if I finish in time. R&R guys-all of you are amazing! **

**--Haleigh**


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